Be Honest with Yourself, Sincere with Others-The Quiet Power of SONOMAMA-

Have you ever felt afraid to speak your truth, or unsure whether it's okay to show your feelings just as they are?In relationships, we all experience moments when we try to protect ourselves—or, conversely, hold back too much—and aren’t quite sure how to express what we feel.

When practicing sonomama, you might sometimes wonder:“Am I just suppressing my feelings?”There may even be times when others misinterpret your silence and assume you're simply tolerating things without expressing your true emotions.

But in truth, it’s quite the opposite. Sonomama is a deep act of love and respect—both for yourself and for the other. It’s not about reacting impulsively. Rather, it’s a way of receiving what’s happening in the moment, just as it is, and honoring the life and connection that already exists.

Being honest with yourself doesn’t mean saying everything that comes to mind. It begins with taking a moment for yourself—to sit quietly, acknowledge whatever thoughts or feelings arise without judgment, and simply recognize:“This is what’s here in me right now.”This gentle act of acceptance is a way of meeting yourself with kindness. The practices of zazen and sonomama offer a steady ground for this.

When we’re caught in strong emotions, we often want to be honest—but may find ourselves blaming, becoming defensive, or speaking sharply. In those moments, there’s no need to force a conversation. You can simply and sincerely say:“I don’t think I can talk well right now. Would it be okay to talk tomorrow?”

Then, give yourself—and the other person—a little space.Take a deep breath. Return to stillness.“Zazen is medicine.” This too is the practice of sonomama. In that quiet, the heart begins to settle. You may find yourself more in touch with your true feelings.

If, the next day, your heart feels ready, you might gently say, “About yesterday—do you have time to talk today?”

In doing so, even when there’s something important to express, you can shape your words with care rather than being driven by emotion. You’ll be less likely to overreact or defend—and more able to understand the other person, too.

It’s not about suppressing yourself or pretending everything is okay. It’s about meeting both yourself and the other with honesty and sincerity, without shutting down your truth.

Words born from silence carry a gentle power.They reach the heart—deeply, softly, clearly.

Sonomama is not about endurance or self-denial. It is a conscious act of love—a commitment to meet what’s within you, and who’s in front of you, with wholehearted presence.

So instead of reacting from emotion, can you pause—just for a moment—and listen to your own voice?This is the first step toward self-kindness,and a true path to genuine connection with others.

Today, would you allow yourself just a little time—quietly, simply, for you?In that stillness, a gentle truth is already waiting.