People often struggle with money, health, and relationships. These areas are deeply interrelated, and relationships can be the most challenging because they affect all aspects of life, our interactions with ourselves, others, and society, and our overall well-being, including money and health. Today, let's focus on relationships and how improving the one with yourself can enhance all others.
The Core of Healthy Relationships
To build healthy relationships with others and more, it's essential first to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. This is the foundation of everything, even your health and financial well-being. How are you taking care of yourself? It involves building a good relationship with your mind and body. Taking care of both is crucial because they are interrelated. When we neglect one, the other often suffers as well. For example, mental stress can manifest as physical health issues and physical neglect can lead to mental distress. While many focus on physical well-being (visible), mental well-being (invisible) is equally essential. Remember, your relationships with your body and mind are not static. They constantly evolve like other relationships.
Understanding the Nature of Your Mind
We often think we can control our minds and bodies, but the reality is more complex, especially when it comes to our minds. Our minds are like wild animals—difficult to tame. Wild animals do not want to be caught; they want to be as they are. Therefore, instead of trying to control your thoughts, let them flow naturally. Thoughts come and go, appearing and disappearing. If you resist your thoughts as they are, they may resist back or even attack you, creating more internal conflict. Your internal pendulum keeps swinging. If you leave your thoughts as they are, not feeding them, you prevent the reinforcement of mental patterns (mental ruts) you developed in your history. Homeostasis helps balance. It is the mechanism of our mind.
“Help keep wildlife wild and healthy. Wildlife Services encourages you to avoid feeding wildlife. One way you can help reduce wildlife conflicts with people is by not feeding wildlife.”
Animal and Plant Inspection Service-US Department of Agriculture
Nurturing Your Mental Well-being
To have a healthy relationship with your internal wild animal, avoid feeding it unnecessary thoughts. Just as we help keep wildlife healthy by not feeding it, we should do the same with our minds. Avoid developing your thought. Instead, let it be. When your internal fierce animal starts to roar, do not engage with it. Let it be. Don’t stimulate it further, just as we don't want to agitate wild animals. It may seem paradoxical, but letting it be is key to nurturing your mental well-being. With Sonomama (as-it-is-ness) practice, we optimize our homeostasis.
The Impact on External Relationships
By fostering healthy relationships with your mind, you can significantly reduce internal conflicts and promote overall well-being. The external environment is a projection of the internal being. This self-awareness and self-care are not just buzzwords but powerful tools that can transform your relationships with others. When you have a good relationship with yourself, issues become clearer and easier to resolve. When you are at peace with yourself, it becomes easier to interact peacefully and empathetically with those around you, whether they are friends, partners, coworkers, bosses, parents, or children. If you have a good relationship with yourself, you engage in the community in a healthy way and generate healthy interactions.
Conclusion
In summary, the foundation of good relationships with others and the community starts with a good relationship with yourself. Take the time to understand your mind and body, and let your thoughts flow naturally without unnecessary control. But do not feed them. Doing so creates a healthier, more balanced internal environment that supports constructive and fulfilling external relationships.
Remember, the journey to better relationships starts from within. Allow yourself to be you, and your relationships with others will also flourish.
Words and Image by K E I K O
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